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| "Life holds no guarantees, but abortion holds no chances." A quote by Bill Janklow, Governor of South Dakota, in May 1994 | ||||
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Source: Meridian Star (MS); February
9, 2003 Past Abortions Come Back to Haunt Women Meridian, MS -- Wanda Allen had an abortion in 1975 when she was 19 and now regrets her decision. Although she hid it from her family for 20 years, she is now open about it and hopes to help other women. Fearing she would shame her father, a small-town Baptist preacher, Wanda and her new husband packed their belongings one night and fled her family's West Alabama home. It was September 1975, weeks after Allen's dad performed his daughter's wedding. But the 19-year-old had a dark secret she kept from her dad and family: She was pregnant. And now, to avoid embarrassing her family, Allen and her 18-year-old husband hopped in their Pontiac GTO for the two-hour drive to Birmingham and the clinic that would perform her abortion. "I was scared to death," Allen, now 46, remarried and the mother of two children, said recently."I thought it was the only thing I could do to prevent embarrassing my daddy and his church. "It's a decision that I've regretted every day of my life since then." Allen is one of several women in East Mississippi and West Alabama who say they have misgivings about decisions they made more than 20 years ago to abort their pregnancies. Many say they now oppose abortion, which has been legal since Roe v. Wade. And on the heels of the Jan. 22, 30-year anniversary of the case -- which was supposed to settle the debate in legal terms -- abortion remains one of the nation's most polarizing issues. In Meridian, Mississippi, women who talked about the abortions they had years ago say they continue to wrestle with the decision they made. Some even have become volunteers at the Center for Pregnancy Choices of Meridian, a nonprofit organization that counsels women facing unplanned pregnancies and encourages them to choose abortion alternatives. Volunteers meet with expectant mothers, talk with them about their experiences and discuss their options. Karen Sims, the center's director, said the sessions help the volunteers heal their own pain. "Support is something that is very important in all of this," Sims said. "It's something that all of these women need and we try and provide that type of positive atmosphere for them here." Some volunteers said that it hasn't been easy to talk about their abortion experience publicly. One woman said many of her family members are unaware she had an abortion more than 20 years ago. "It still hurts to this day. I still live with that empty spot and I don't know that it will ever go away," said the woman, who is now in her 40s and asked not to be identified. "It's hard knowing that I could have had him or her in my life for the past 20 years and I have not. It was just a quick fix that I now have to deal with," she said, adding she is married and has a teen-age son. The woman said she eventually plans to tell her son and other family members about her abortion. She said she has received support and strength from the Center for Pregnancy Choices. "All his life my son has wanted a brother or sister, so there's guilt there because he would have that except for a decision that I made," she said. "I'll tell him one day, when the time is right." Other women feared their family would learn about their abortion from someone else -- so they shared their stories. One woman, also asked not to be identified, said she, too, lived more than 20 years with her two secret abortions before finally telling her family about both of them. The woman, now in her late 40s and with three grown children, said she recently told her children when she became involved with the Center for Pregnancy Choices and began counseling. "No one knew for the longest time and I felt alone, which made the guilt that much harder to deal with," she said. The woman said counseling others at the center has helped her deal with her pain and find hope and forgiveness. "It helps getting things off your chest and knowing that you're helping other women in the process," she said. "This is something that's been needed for a long time for a lot of women. For 20 years, there has been no open communication. It's going to be freeing for all of us." Since its inception last summer, the center has counseled more than 30 pregnant women. Sims said volunteer counselors provide those women a positive, comfortable atmosphere. "Our hope is that we do empower them so that they choose life, but we realize that this is a choice that they'll make for themselves," Sims said. "The main thing is we're here to care, not to judge." Allen won't forget the night after her abortion in September 1975. Allen and her husband were in dingy motel room in Birmingham. She was crying and in pain when she phoned her mom; she couldn't bring herself to tell her mom about the abortion. "My parents thought we were on our honeymoon," Allen remembered as she held back tears. "I remember telling (my mother) that I had the flu. That was my explanation for being sick." For Allen, the lessons she learned that night hit home a few years ago when her 15-year-old daughter became pregnant. Allen was there to support her daughter. "She immediately brought up the abortion thing," Allen said. "I told her what I had gone through and how it had affected me. I told her how precious life is. "Now, when I look at my granddaughter, I see how much joy she brings to everyone's life," she said. "That just makes it that much tougher. I think about what my child could have been."
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